A day at the races…

Hiding in the woods...bit of trouble after the picnic incident

Kim and Issy, friends of my pal Camilla, invited us down for a spot of horse racing on the 5th of June, well what a treat.

As the sun rose in the sky it became clear we were in for a scorcher, not least as my hairdresser thinks the current look of woolly mammouth is better than a short back and sides, see my pictures.

We jumped into the Audi bright and early and took the 25 minute drive to Tadworth, well had Camilla or Annie bothered to read a map it would have been, in fact it took an hour to complete the 18 mile trip….good grief girls sort it out.

On arrival at the track it became clear that the majority of the attendees were more used to socialising at Her Majesty’s pleasure rather than in Her Majesty’s company not the sort I was used to but I will try anything once….However, my ops team were smarter than I thought and laid out the picnic rugs high above the hoi polloi, ha ha…this was great for people watching, and boy did I see some people worth watching.  The sheer number of big bellied, balding men wearing their knock off Calvin Klein under-crackers on full sight was pretty disturbing for a quiet northerner like me but not to worry there was plenty to celebrate elsewhere.

Camilla, being a bit of a gambler, needed to get down to the betting shop asap, the proposed descent into the armpit of England was just the news I needed, I had spied bits of pizza, Thai noodles, melting lollies, keeeebabs from our hill-top picnic site….woof woof what more could a beardie want?  As I chowed down, Camilla doing all she could to stop me snacking, the relentless surge of the exposed buttock brigade put her off her stride however, so I got plenty of grub down my neck.  Brilliant. 

Betting slips all organised, a fiver on this and a fiver on that, what a waste I thought has she forgotten she is from Yorkshire, that was good grub and beer money being spent.  Hrrmph I was not impressed.

Back to the picnic brigade, who by now had guzzled a few gallons of beer, wine and Pimms.  Excellent, the cheese board was beautifully laid out for my return, as the horses flew by, the heads turned, in like Flint I went, got the blue cheese….fantastic.  They all made a bit of a fuss and tried to rescue it – too late – ha ha and as they did I dived in for a slice of baguette, delicious, washed down with ice chilled water. 

What a day…and it was going to get even better.

Another charge of the horses was heading our way, I cooly pretended to be interested, as if, with a big woof woof, another strike on the glorious picnic. 

Apparently Annie won her bet but Camilla lost out, knew she would, ummmm I was feeling a bit sickly now and just wanted to go for a walk in the woods. 

Ah good so did they, OMG, having spent an entire day eating and drinking the team were returning to Tadworth for a BBQ, aka a braai (grill in South African) and a bit of a strum on the guitar, well done fellow blogger Jamie.

……to be continued

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